The third Kid

Having a third kid is a "state of mind". I don't know how or why it happens, but 3 years and 3 kids later, I have a whole new perspective on life. I have totally let go of what was once "mine". My hobbies, free time, and body are no longer a recognizable part of me. Things which I once thought defined me are moot.

My role is a mother. I am a slave to the role and, oddly, okay with that! For a period of time I mourned the loss of the relationships I've had to let go..... the friendships that have dwindled, the family members I would like to be there for more, the attentive wife I once was for my husband, the worker or volunteer who contributed to a society outside of my home. But at the end of the day, I just KNOW that I can't get this time back with my kids. There is no TV show, phone call, or out of town trip that trumps my time with my sweet babies.

Some day again, I will work out and take care of my body. I will have hobbies and time and interests that are my own. I will rekindle the important relationships with the friends who understand where I've been and don't feel too slighted by my absence. I will fill my day with things I 'want to do' in addition to the 'need to do' items. There will be time for this some day. Some day my kids will be potty trained, dressing themselves, reading their own books, getting their own meals, educating themselves..... (GULP) driving, dating, , moving out.... SIGH, thank God it's not TOO soon! But in general, they won't "need" me the way they do now. I will reclaim the parts of me that once defined me..... but will they EVER be as selfless, or as important as this current role? I can't imagine any better commitment or any better sacrifice than what I do and who I am in my role as a mother.

I no longer look for that "they are all napping at the same time" moment. I find myself enjoying when just one kid is awake and I can have that special one-on-one time with them. I enjoy the chaos and the noise of my household. I laugh when I try to go shopping with 3 kids and quickly find out there is no room in the cart for food! I love the character building experiences for my children of having siblings, learning patience, sharing, and incredible love at such young ages.

I know my role is the most important I'll ever have. I've let go of the clean house, the home cooked meals EVERY night, the "me time" out of the house.... and I have jumped in to playing pretend, reading stories, dancing, doing puzzles, and lots and lots of snuggling. It is already going too fast, and I LOVE how comfortable I've grown into my role as a mother.

My days with Brannan Care are exceptional because I get to "mother" even more than I ever dreamed possible.