Potty Training

I never really understood why people hated potty training so much. I was SO excited for it....... a year ago. My little girl was "ready" (I thought). The teacher in me made a laminated chart with fun rewards. I pictured a weekend of salty snacks and lots of tea parties or fun drinks. I imagined going to the bathroom every half hour or so and both of us going potty and then having fun success and celebrations. Needlesstosay..... this is NOT how potty training went for us! :)

December 2009. Maddi got a potty and underwear last Xmas (just shy of her 2 year old birthday). She was excited and we had a few times she would sit and have success. She really hadn't hit all the "readiness signs", so there was no pressure and it was just a fun thing to talk about and try out over Xmas break!

March/ April 2010. She started showing all the signs between xmas and summer break. She could pull her own pants up and down, she stayed dry for long amounts of the day and through nap, she could tell me when she needed changing, and her poop time was pretty predictable. Unfortunately, as I was teaching, she was going to both grandmas, an adopted grandma Lyn Vest while my mom was tied up with a Haitian heart surgery, and a neighbor for childcare depending on the day of the week. How in the world could we start such a big training with all these different caregivers??? No big deal! We waited. In June when I was done with school, I had a laminated potty chart and a whole reward system mapped out, and the potty training began!

DISASTER 1! May 2010. So, we wore undies. I was positive. We snacked on salty things all day and drank lots of fun fluids. And I asked her to come sit with me on the potty every 10 min to half hour. Well, in a weeks time it became negative. I didn't really know then how LITTLE my daughter peed. We never really had success and asking her to stop play to go sit started getting to be a battle instead of fun. She had maybe one accident a day in her panties, and other than that, no events! The chart got no stickers, the rewards stayed unclaimed, and after a week of undies and the confinement of not EVER leaving our home, potty training ended.

DISASTER 2 & 3! July 2010. September 2010. Two other times we did a full week of undies. I asked her (or really bugged her) less often to sit. She would go in her undies every now and then, or hold it all day. No real pressure, but no real success after a full week in undies. It wasn't negative, but after a week with no successes, I would go back to diapers and not mention it again for a few weeks. I just assumed she wasn't as "ready" as I had thought.

A FEW WEEKS AGO. Oct. 2010. Maddi is a perfectionist. She wants to please and she wants to be successful, so potty training is hard thing for her. She doesn't want to "fail" and she is more emotional about learning that "feeling" than any one else I have talked to about this. I decided she wasn't going to change and she would be happy to wear her diaper and stick with the comfort of what she knows until college. As I leave my first trimester of baby number three, I made the executive decision that I will NOT have 3 babes in diapers and she was going to wear undies whenever she was home with me. I figured she would have a few accidents and she would eventually learn that feeling and we would eventually get somewhere with this. I was very laid back about the whole thing (not my original style or plan). No chart, no pressure, just undies and a change of undies as needed. There was NO success IN the potty as before, but I didn't care and she didn't either. We just rode it out.

LATE OCT 2010. We are making "progress". After a few more of those "I have to go" meaning I have just peed in my pants.........She has success ALMOST every time now! She knows that "feeling". She dances and holds it and says "I have to go" and we run in there and sit! It was VERY emotional for her. She would sit and then cry and whine and jump off. She KNOWS she has to go but when she sits sometimes it goes away or doesn't come or makes her so nervous that she doesn't go. We did this every day from about 11 AM until 2 or 3 or 4 PM. She hasn't gone since the first morning pee of the day. She dances around and is sad until she goes. She DOES eventually pee start to finish in the potty, but I would say we go in and out of that bathroom no less than 20 times before the actual success and reward happen.

THIS is when I thought I would need a Xanax prescription. Ha ha, well not really..... but even with the final ending being my desire, I was feeling bad that I am more exhausted and less positive than I'd like to be for her. In my defense, I have 3 other babies here. I cannot run in and out of the restroom 100 times a day to help her sit and then jump right off. I start to get negative about the 10th time I've stopped what I'm doing to go there for her to cry and run out. Is this normal? Why is she such a wreck about this all? Poor Lia and Sophia are great sports about having bottles and meals and play interrupted, but I feel for them. And Michaela has LOVED having that bathroom door open and available for her and she empties the bows and drawers no less than 50 times a day. SIGH. After that one pee, and the reward, I DO regroup to my normal positive self. Maddi regroups her emotions. Mj gets banned from the bathroom after the 100th clean up.......and we have a nice calm rest of the day WITHOUT having to be medicated! :)

CURRENTLY. YESTERDAY. TODAY. TOMORROW. INFINITY. I don't want to say "we are potty trained". It scares me to say it and post it officially because somehow it could make it undone! :) BUT since the weekend of Oct 24th, Maddi has worn undies all day every day in the house and out (except for sleep) and had no accidents! She tells me when she needs to go and doesn't get so upset about that terrible feeling anymore! She doesn't make me go in there 102 times a day! Yahoooo! :) We are still using a little potty or a special seat and sometimes we find it tricky when out in public, but we are getting there! :)